Mary Gainsworth conducted a very important study on Attachment called “The Stranger Experiment”. This study was looking at how children attach to their caregivers. Infants and small children will get very upset when their primary caregiver leaves the room or goes away; rightfully so, and kids are not “taught” this. Even an infant understands that it may be in physical danger if it is not looked after. A Securely Attached child will get upset when the caregiver (typically mother) leaves, will accept comforting when they return, then resume playing again. Children will periodically look back at their caregiver to see if they are still being “watched” or that they are “safe” while playing. Once secure again, the child feels free to play and explore.
I strongly believe this is true for all of us. We are safe to play and explore the world when we feel secure, when we KNOW it is safe to play and explore the world. For some of us, our caregivers, our partner, our friend was not available, in a time of need either by chance or coincidence and this created emotional scars that later become our triggers. When we get upset or bothered by something in the present situation, this is because we have not addressed the underlying issue, the root, the core belief/wound. An emotional wound was created and it’s alerting us “Hey, this doesn’t feel safe/secure” or “something’s not right”and we call this a Trigger.